


I'm A Mess

by Ninja_224



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, 5SOS - Freeform, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, lashton one shots, loose change, malum, may be cute at times, may be sad at some points, multiply, one shots, one shots based on wonderful songs by Ed Sheeran, plus - Freeform, side malum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninja_224/pseuds/Ninja_224
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lashton one shots based on wonderful songs written by Ed Sheeran.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello

A series of lashton one shots (with side malum in some of them). This is my first book on here so please give it a bit of time as my writing may not be the best to start with.

These one shots will be based off different songs, mostly Ed Sheeran, but I may add a few other artists/bands into the mix at some point. If you have any requests for one shots/songs to base the one shots on, then please do not hesitate to ask. It would make my day if someone made a request.

Thank you for reading this and giving my story a chance. The first one shot should be up pretty soon as I am almost finished writing it.

Keep smiling

~ Hannah


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on ‘one’ by Ed Sheeran. In this one shot Luke has a girlfriend who is jelous of Ashton and Luke’s relationship. Because of this jealousy Luke’s girlfriend (Abbi) has told Luke that he can only be with her if Luke never sees Ashton again.

Tell me that you turned down the man  
Who asked for your hand  
'Cause you're waiting for me  
And I know, you're gonna be away a while  
But I've got no plans at all to leave  
And would you take away my hopes and dreams?  
~ Ed Sheeran; One.

~#~

 

“Please Luke. Please.” I whisper against Luke’s tear soaked shirt. “You don’t have to. Please.”

“Ashton, I can’t. You know I can’t.” He says, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me off of his lap. A small, broken whimper escapes my lips as all contact between us both is broken. “I love her, Ashton. I love her so much. I would do anything to make her happy. Anything. I would jump off a cliff it would make her smile. I would turn my back on anything and everything if she asked me to. And I am. I’m doing it willingly because it’s what she wants.”

I let out a sob at his words and try to crawl back onto his lap. But Luke doesn’t allow it.

He stands abruptly and runs his fingers through his soft, blonde hair a few times before yanking on it and sinking to the floor.

I never thought I’d live long enough to see Luke this distressed. I’ve never wanted to. His once bright blue eyes that always seemed to have a spark dancing in them had turned dull and lifeless. His hair, that he took so much pride in, was sticking out in every direction. But worst of all, his smile. His smile had disappeared. He used to be able to lighten and brighten anything with his smile: a room, a school, a city…me. Not anymore. He only smiles for her now. When she walks in the room Luke looks as though he has just fallen in love with her again. He looks at her the way I look at him.

I slowly get off the bed and sit down in front of him. He looks so small and vulnerable in this state; almost as small and vulnerable as I feel.  
I have to make this easy for him. Even if it kills me inside to do it, I have to. If anyone should be hurt here it is me. Luke has done nothing to deserve this. He should not have to make this decision alone. I should be there to help and guide him. 

“I know you would do anything for her Luke. Just like I would do anything for you. It’s just, some things are harder to do than others. But I will make this easy for you.” I take his hand in mine and loo him in the eye. “I promise that I will never try to see you again. I promise that I will never try to contact you unless I am allowed. I promise that the only times we will ever meet will be if we run into each other on the street. But I cannot promise that I won’t ask Calum and Michael how you are doing and if you are happy."

Both Luke and I have tears seeping out of our eyes and rolling down our cheeks. I take one of my hands off of Luke’s and place it on his cheek, wiping the tears away. He gives a small smile. I smile back then take a deep breathe.

“But, Luke, I can’t promise that I’ll be okay without you because I won’t be. I love you too much to be okay, Luke.”

With that said, Luke leans forwards, gently kisses y cheek then stands up. He starts to walk away but before he can get too far I grab his hand; “I know you’re gonna be away awhile, Luke. But I’ve got no plans at all to leave.”

I drop his hand and let him leave. Just before he is out the door he turns his head to the side, gives a watery smile and whispers, “thank you Ash.”  
Then he is gone.

~#~

“Hey Ash. You home?” Someone says. I think it’s coming from the left. I turn and see the familiar green hair that adorns the top of Michael’s head.

I give a lop-sided grin and raise a shaky hand. “Whad up, Mikey me boy?” he freezes and gives me a disgusted look. “Wha? No high fivey from Mikey to Ashy?” Nothing.

I push myself onto my feet and stumble across the room towards Michael. Just before reaching him my foot catches on something and I go tumbling to the ground. Laughing like a mad man I roll onto my back and look at Michael. He now has his lips pursed in a light line with his hands folded across his chest. I start laughing harder.

“What the hell Ashton?” he shouts.

“Y-you look like-like my M-Mum!” I say between giggles.

Mike gives me another disgusted look the pulls me to my feet. “Are you drunk again?”

I place my hands behind my back and give Michael the best innocent look I can muster. “No. I was just a tad thirsty.”

“A tad thirsty! Ash, I can see about 8 beer bottles surrounding the couch.” Mikey shouts.

“Fine. A lot thirsty.” I say then slump back onto the couch.

Michael sighs then sits next to me. “I spoke to Luke today.” He says softly.

Luke. That one name sends thousands of pieces of broken glass into my already destroyed heart. Images of bright blue eyes, perfect smiles, checked shirts and lip rings dance in my mind. I can’t think of him. It’s too painful. He’s living the life he’s always wanted: perfect girlfriend, perfect house, perfect job. While I’m sat here drinking away my hopes and dreams.

“I need a drink.” I say, reaching for another bottle.

“Oh no you don’t.” I hear Michael say, then my hand stops moving. I look at it and see tat Michael has wrapped his own hand around mine. Luke used to hold that hand.  
“Ashton. You need to stop. You can’t drink to make the ain go away, it doesn’t work. All it does s damage you more. You could die Ashton!”

“Good.” I murmur. His face crumbles.

“Ash, you’re hurting us. You’re hurting me… You’re hurting Calum. He can’t sleep, and when he does he wakes up screaming and crying. Do you know why? It’s because he dreams of you dying. Either dying of alcohol poisoning or killing yourself. He does not deserve to be worrying about you this much. He used to be happy; carefree, but you and your drinking problem have corrupted him.” By now tears have made their way into Michael’s eyes.

I’m glad Michael and Calum have each other. They let their hearts collide and something beautiful was created.

I was pulled from my thoughts by Michael handing me a pen and paper. 

“I’ve talked to Luke and Abbi. Abbi says that you are allowed to send Luke one letter each month. Sorry, it’s the best I can do at the moment.” I look at Michael for a moment before throwing my arms around his neck. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

I pick up the pen and set the tip on the paper. One letter. That’s all I have to convey everything I have felt for the past few months.

Dear Luke,  
You are the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. If you liked it then please vote and comment. It would mean a lot to me if you did and would motivate me to update faster.   
> Thank you all so much. I really hoped you liked it.  
> Keep smiling  
> ~ Hannah


	3. Afire love - preview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little preview of the next chapter. I feel terrible for not having updated yet so I thought that you all deserved something for you long wait. Thank you for sticking with me. Love you all!  
> ~Hannah

Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut  
For they're designed to be together oh  
With your body next to mine our hearts will beat as one  
And we're set alight, we're afire love  
~Ed Sheeran; Afire love

 

10 years. Ashton had been alone for 10 years. And they had been the worst 10 years of his life. 10 years ago he was laughing, singing, watching T.V next to his own personal heater and sleeping with a comforting weight on his chest. However, now he was crying, whispering, watching T.V in the cold and sleeping with an uncomfortable nothingness on his chest. 10 years ago Ashton hadn’t realised how alone someone could be whilst surrounded by love; until he lost Luke. He still had his children: Emma and Sam; but they lived away now. Emma was in England with her husband and two children, while Sam was traveling around America trying to “find something” – but what that something was Ashton never found out.

All Ashton did now-a-days was sit in his too big house, on his too big chair, watching his too big T.V, cooking meals too big for one person to eat. But Ashton would tell himself every day that he didn’t care. Didn’t care that his two children left Australia – left him – to travel to different countries. Didn’t care that the only contact he got with his grandchildren was when they phoned every other month. Didn’t care that the person who had promised to never leave him…left. Didn’t care that he lied to himself every day about not caring. Didn’t care that he would tell himself anything to ease the pain.


End file.
